Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I am Okay
I have beat myself up most of my life. If someone complimented me, I found a way to turn it around. If I lost weight, I told myself over and over that I would just gain it back. I lived my life telling myself what a failure I was, even though that is a false statement. Looking back at all the pictures of my life recently (the ones Rob got down for me) has shown me what a success I have really been. Why do we beat ourselves up as women, I don't think men do it, but we do. I realize something amazing looking back at all those photos. If there is something that I have done right in this world it is being a Mom. We didn't have a lot of money back then, I mean we didn't have a lot of fancy furniture (Rob made a lot of furniture we had), but the kids had everything, they had nice clothes (a lot thanks to grandparents), they were clean, well taken care of, and they had plenty to eat. I beat myself up about the mom I was, I could have done better, but I realize I done good. I look back on those photos and it brings back memories of all the things we used to do as a family. We didn't stay inside, and we weren't couch potatoes, we ran around (something kids don't do enough of today), and we went to the park. We went to the lake (in Las Vegas), and packed our lunch and stayed and played the whole day, many times. We had great friends and fantastic neighbors, and we looked out for each other. Life was good, and the kids were happy, why couldn't I just see that then. When someone told me what a great mom I was, what did I do, "I beat myself up.", I found flaws in their statements, but not anymore. I look back at those photos and I remember how wonderful it was to be Christina's, Briana's, Christopher's, Garrett's, James', and Willie's Mom. I love being their mom, and now that they are grown it has changed to an even closer relationship. I must have done something right, just look at them. My husband Rob, was such a great dad too, he taught them a lot about faith, hope, and God's never ending love. Honey, we did something amazing together, of course we had a lot of help, especially from God, Thank you Jesus. I am Okay, how about you?