Saturday, February 14, 2009

Walking the Plank

This week is almost over, and I am longing to savor it, grip it tightly in my fist's and not let go. Next week my life will either go on like it has always, or it will once again change (no hair sucks). I tired to think of a way to describe it, and I finally stumbled on it, or maybe God just thumbed me over the head with it. To me this week is like walking the plank, I started off slow, not giving into it, and then was nudged out there a little bit more, until today, I felt like doctor just pushed me out on the edge, and said, alright you can jump in, or I can push you, which will it be"? Instead of surgery on Thursday, he changed things on me, and they will be admitting me on Tuesday in order to see in both ends of me, first upper and lower with a wonderful scope. Well, I will tell you I am not happy at all (there I said it), and I have decided to hold on to that darn plank for dear life......tightly..... and they will just have to pry me off, and throw me in the water kicking and screaming, I am entitled. The last two times I went gracefully, and on my own. That's right, I jumped in all by myself. I bet sometimes you guys read this blog, and say, "that poor woman, she just not right", but that is okay, I don't mind, I think I would rather be a little bit crazy, maybe that helps keep that cancer away. Maybe it says, "Okay, let's just get out of here, this woman doesn't know how to give in gracefully, plus she is totally nuts." Nuts or no nuts, I have already informed my family this time, if I get bad news, I get to throw a rip roaring fit, and they have to watch (they looked at me with pure panic), it made me laugh. You see, I don't cry very often, hardly ever, so in the few times in my life I have, they didn't know what to do, scared the life out of them. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with crying, but I was raised with, "Marsh's Don't Cry" (my dad's motto, and my maiden name). Dad if your looking down at me, I have one thing to say, Marsh's might not cry, but Gray's do, and I will be crying this time!

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