Saturday, September 19, 2009

Text Message

This week was an unsual week. I got a text from someone I don't even know, and it was quite hostile, I mean she doesn't even know me. I have to say I let it hurt my feelings, unitl my children rallied around me, and told me how crazy it was, so I let it go. We have a blended family, and I am so proud of it. This whole thing could have fallen apart early on, but it didn't, it was hard work, everyone had their own personality, and I loved it. With each person having their own personalities that didn't make life easy, and there were some crazy fights. Somehow we gained from it and learned from each other, and I would like to think I learned from each one of my children, in more ways I have been blessed to have had them all in my life.

A word of advice to the young: When you have problem with someone, "Don't text them". As an Administrative Assistant I have learned e-mails and texts, don't provide tones, you can take an inocent e-mail and add your own tone to it, and it can spiral out of control. It is best to do it in person, or over the phone, have a personal conversation. That being said it is never best to come out swinging, especially with someone you don't even know.

My son has a baby boy by a girl he is not yet married to, and she has a child from a previous marriage. She is with my son in Texas, I sent my grandson, Christmas presents, and I recently, after asking my son what size he wore, sent him some clothes, they don't have alot of money and I thought it would be much appreciated--it was not.

Apparently it caused a fight between them (not my intention). He told me she was mad that I didn't send presents to her little girl also, so I told him, if she was upset, she shouldn't take it out on you, she should call me. She didn't--she texted me, and it was not a nice text message--at all. The problem: she thinks I need to send presents for both of children, she says that her daughter is as much as my son Chris' as Taylor (my grandson) is. She said I should send presents to both of them or not any at all (young drama).

The problem is, she don't know me, I have never met her, by her texting in the way she did, it is hard for me to want to get to know her. I do know my son, and I love him, and I don't want to cause problems for him. My view is they are not married yet, when they do get married then I would do my best to recieve them into the family, even the little girl. How can you make demands from someone you haven't even talked to yet. I have never had any conversations from this girl before, and never met her. If you are trying to make a good impression, that was not it.

I understand more ways then she thinks. We had a blended family, my mother and father (after we were married) took Christopher and Christina in as their grandkids, they each got what the others got. Rob's mom and dad did the same, but because Christopher and Christina didn't get things from the other side, Rob's parents would give a little more to Christina and Christopher. I did have kids whose feeling did get hurt from time to time, watching some get more than the others, Briana's and Garrett's other grandparents always provided them lots of presents. As they grew up however, they realized both sides didn't have to do anything, and were doing the best to show them love, and they were loved.

Briana's husband Kori, had a blended family, and we have other friends in the same boat. They never got things from the other side. Kori never got presents from his step dad's side. So you could see were I emphasize with all it. The problem with all it is you don't demand things from people, in my experience that never works out.

My children got really upset over this, because they love their mother, and they know me. They know that I would never do anything to intentionally be mean, or hurtful, and I try to be fair about everything. I have to say Briana can be quite the cougar when her mother is wronged. Willie wanted to lash out to, but I told him no, it would do nothing to change this girl's mind, and Chris had to live with her, we all love Chris very much, and want him to be happy.

What did I learn from this, sometimes your best is not good enough for some people, and that's okay.

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