Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I got a bike, not a trike.

Well I had something I wanted to say, and now that I am here writing, heck if I don't remember what it is. I did want to have a shout out to Ms. Margaret Gray, "Happy Birthday" it was last week, just wanted to make sure you knew, just how special you are to all of us, on this side of the world. I put on my grass skirt for you and did the "I am so happy I could poop in my pants dance," sorry it would have lasted longer but the police made me stop.

Oh yeah I remember now, I got a new bike for my birthday.....not till Thursday. My wonderful husband got me a Schwinn, and it is pretty cool. I am trying really hard to eat right and exercise, I really need every ones prayers, so pray for me. I really need to start getting healthy, I had started after my chemo, and was doing great, and then dad died, and my world has stopped for a while.

I realize now I have a lot unresolved feelings where that is concerned. You see my dad loved food, he was never overweight, if he gained weight he just exercised, he always exercised and did things to stay healthy, of course mom helped. Food has been my way to stuff it all down. It was so hard to watch him not be able to eat the things he loved, when I visited him last. It was a struggle for me too, all those old feelings on having cancer came flooding back, when you are going through chemo you can't eat a lot you are sick all the time, so on the weeks you can eat you do, and you eat everything in site.

I felt so guilty that dad didn't have the chance to enjoy his last part of his life. Food has been comfort for me during this awful time of my life. I need to replace that comfort with God, God needs to be the center of my life. So I am going to try really hard when I want to eat, to go to God first with everything. He gives us better comfort than food. I really need to be healthy for my family, so I can be around to enjoy them and my grandkids. Please pray for me.

1 comment:

Bri said...

You DO need to be around for your grandkids. They NEED to know you. :)